Madison Ho Week 3: Sorry, What Was I Talking About Again? - 09/23 [8:51PM]
If I were to choose three adjectives to describe me, they would be hardworking, bubbly, and…
Huh. I forgot.
You know, I tend to do that a lot—forget, I mean. It’s wildly inconvenient, and there’s no limit to what I can’t forget, really.
Ask me to grab you a mug from the kitchen, and minutes later, I would probably emerge from the depths with a What did you ask me for again? readied on my lips; ask me to remind you to finish something from your to-do list, and not even a solid five seconds later, I would forget that the entire interaction ever happened; ask me to explain a mathematical concept to you, and I would be able to do it—but if you were to ask me to repeat it, well, I can’t help you anymore.
Let me put it this way: my memory functions similarly to a carbonated beverage. If you pour, say, Sprite, into an empty cup, the liquid hisses and the foam creates the illusion of something great. But then a moment passes, the bubbles fizzle out, and now all you’re left with is a sad-looking cup of soda. That’s pretty much how my memory works—nothing sticks around for long, and then I’m left to blindly grasp at straws.
And then there’s the common saying, “Ignorance is bliss,” which—oh, don’t even get me started. It’s blatantly wrong. If anything, not being aware of what’s going on is the reason why I’m constantly riddled with anxiety. I know that there’s something I have to do—that nagging feeling kicks in and tickles at my consciousness—but do what, exactly? Sometimes, I don’t get to know until it’s far too late, and that’s what I fear most.
Okay, okay, I’ll admit; that sounded a bit too edgy for my liking. But in all seriousness, my proclivity for forgetfulness has genuinely jeopardized certain aspects of my life. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I don’t even remember half of my family’s birthdays—much less those of my friends. I can barely plan for gifts when I can barely remember to finish all the assignments that are due that day at midnight. Getting through each day requires at least three alarms, ten timers, and an agenda that I write my weekly assignments in (and then proceed to ignore). Honestly, the reason for my continued existence eludes me at times when I realize how horrific I am at managing life.
Of course, sulking about it won’t change much. That’s why I try to face every new horizon with a grin on my face. Because although I can’t deny the frustration that stems from my obliviousness, I realize it shouldn’t be something that prevents me from having a good day. A smile a day keeps the sadness away, after all. Or at least, that’s how I like to think about it.
Oh, and I just remembered what I was originally going to say! The last word was…
Forgetful.
Photo Credits: Image Taken from my Personal Gallery
The Sprite comparison for your memory was such a funny, and unexpectedly accurate, way to describe forgetfulness! I also thought it was really interesting that you connected your forgetfulness to anxiety, because forgetting something really is not only inconvenient but can also leave you constantly wondering what you might have missed. The examples about forgetting errands, reminders, and things you already learned made your message extremely relatable and shows how these can affect different parts of everyday life. I particularly liked that you didn’t let the negative parts of forgetfulness take over the entire post, though. Ending with your decision to keep a positive attitude shows a lot of self-awareness!
ReplyDeleteI love how you connected the ending of your post back to the starting idea! It really encapsulates the topic of your post.Your Sprite metaphor was excellent too; it’s a great insight into how you perceive your tendency to forget things. I can completely relate to the extent of your timers and alarms; I have three just to wake me up, and so much more to keep track of weekly homework and classes and whatnot. I feel your anxiety; oftentimes I get that feeling in the back of my mind, and I spend the next thirty minutes going through my classes to make sure I have everything down. A solution that has worked for me for years is a dedicated document keeping track of everything I have to do and their due dates. I noticed how you tend to ignore these types of agendas, though, so this might not work for you, but I encourage you all the same. I think it’s great that you don’t let that anxiety affect your positivity!
ReplyDeleteNow this is a feeling I can 100000000000% relate to. On a tangent, I saw an article a couple weeks ago about how seeing a doorway is interpreted by your brain as a mental “reset,” causing you to “open a new page” if you imagine your memory like a book. My issue with this is not forgetting—that’s the lesser annoying part—it is the inability to actually remember what I forgot in the first place. This may sound counterintuitive, but it always feels like the item of interest is just out of reach, my consciousness a (figurative) millimeter from remembering what I wanted to do next. However, it still provides me solace that you feel the same way at times, leaving you to “blindly grasp at straws.” Just thinking out loud here (literally), maybe a way to fix this could be saying what you want to do out loud? I don’t know how effective this would be though, because it isn’t the most convenient thing to do.
ReplyDelete